“Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” – Lori Gottlieb

“Maybe You Should Talk to Someone” is a memoir written by therapist Lori Gottlieb about being a therapist, her own therapy, and the stories of her patients’ healing. Through anecdotal stories, Lori gives a behind-the-scenes look into the inner workings of a therapy office and a glimpse into the insights and wisdom that arises. TBH, this book wasn’t perfect for me, but overall I gave it 4 stars on my Goodreads because of all that has stayed with me since finishing it.

With that, my 10 favorite quotes from “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone”:

Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Follow your envy – it shows you what you want.

Relationships in life don’t really end, even if you never see the person again. Every person you’ve been close to lives on somewhere inside you.

The inability to say no is largely about approval-seeking. The inability to say yes is more about lack of trust in oneself.

Don’t judge your feelings; notice them. Use them as your map. Don’t be afraid of the truth.

Most big transformations come about from the hundreds of tiny, almost imperceptible, steps we take along the way.

“I’m reminded,” he begins, “of a famous cartoon. It’s of a prisoner, shaking the bars, desperately trying to get out — but to his right and left, it’s open, no bars.” He pauses, allowing the image to sink in. “All the prisoner has to do is walk around. But still, he frantically shakes the bars. That’s most of us. We feel completely stuck, trapped in our emotional cells, but there’s a way out — as long as we’re willing to see it.”

There’s no hierarchy of pain. Suffering shouldn’t be ranked, because pain is not a contest. (…) You can’t get through your pain by diminishing it, he reminded me. You get through your pain by accepting it and figuring out what to do with it. You can’t change what you’re denying or minimizing. And, of course, often what seems like trivial worries are manifestations of deeper ones.

…even in the best possible relationship, you’re going to get hurt sometimes, and no matter how much you love somebody, you will at times hurt that person, not because you want to, but because you’re human. You will inevitably hurt your partner, your parents, your children, your closest friend — and they will hurt you — because if you sign up for intimacy, getting hurt is part of the deal.

…change and loss travel together. We can’t have change without loss, which is why so often people say they want change, but nonetheless stay exactly the same.

Want more of Lori Gottlieb’s words of wisdom? Check out her very popular Ted Talk about being the editor of your own life.

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